Sunday, December 28, 2014

four words - an exercise using four words in one line

four words exercise:

2012 December 28 10:50pm

love in full view
crying when it hurts
smiling when it doesn't
questions come from past
hope flings hearts open
quiet stillness rests within
do I have questions
questions for the now
deep heart, healed completely
only from His hand
fully healed and reaching
heart held open - breathing
resting in the safety
resting in the joy
resting in the happy
resting with my love

mutating missionary
with HoneyB and ebenezer

Changing with confidence stems from a changeless core

Me,  Freiburg, Germany, 2014 - KFC glory

2014 is drawing to a close.

2013 around this time: I was anticipating a 3 week Silent Retreat - seeking some clarity on my next steps.

I got clarity minus the silence in 2014. LOL!

Last year also entered me into the word LOVED. Oh my, I have been loved. The year has been rolling with disappointments, re-calibrations, and pitfalls. But, LOVE has shown up and He has been here.

I thought I would be working for an organization on the east coast, flying back and forth between USA and Germany, continuing the relationships and mentoring in Germany and possibly adding other German or English Speaking countries. That all fell through.

I find myself on the east coast, investing in writing, and getting to know HoneyB in the same time zone.

A new development in my health throws me off a little. I have a disease: Spasmodic Dysphonia. I discovered this after several years of doctors probing other options. I've had a cough for years. Finally, a doctor here in Maryland listened to me and sent me to an ENT. The specialist took one look into my larynx with a long tube-like scope and took pictures. He asked me to say my vowels. This feat is not easy to accomplish with a tube-like-thing sticking down your nostrils, into the back of your throat, and down into your neck! After looking at the results, he pronounced me with this vocal disease. He prescribed resting my voice for a minimum of 6 months, more realistically 12. He recommended relaxation techniques first and then possible Botox shots later... we'll see about that?

The plans to open a new website, continue writing purposefully, find a part-time job as I re-enculturated into the USA after living 9 years in Germany, changed with this diagnosis. I don't know exactly what the changes entail at this moment.

And what do I know?
 “People can’t live with change if there’s not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless source of who you are, what you are about and what you value” Seven habits of Highly Effective People

your mutating missionary
with HoneyB and Ebenezer




































Thursday, December 4, 2014

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Because He IS the I AM, i am,

robyn rochelle eubanks