Tuesday, April 3, 2012

April 2, 2012

I have returned to Germany. It is a wonderful thing to be in my own apartment. Many have asked if I am “HOME”… In my spirit I respond: as home as I can be this side of heaven.

Home is where we hang our hat, right?

Throughout this last year, I found out it is not necessarily that. Home is more than where we hang our hats. It is a place of peace, a place of wonder and a place of continued learning and growing. Was I home this last 14 months in the USA? Yes, as home as I could be.

I enjoyed getting to know my kids in their new lives. I spent time with my three children on levels that I had not known them in before. As adults I can honestly say: I like them.  That is a huge statement of gratitude to the God Who IS.

One never knows what kind of relationship one might end up with their children. They could be in harms way, walking in their own demise, or living lives like my children (whole and healthy!) I am blessed.

In my travel year to the USA I was refreshed in many ways, worn out in many ways, and encouraged in many ways.  If that can be understood – you are of greater mind than I.

I really can’t understand it. How can one be at odds with life and yet in the midst of such blessing? I found myself in this place this past 14 months. And now – what does God have in store for me?  I don’t know!

“Our Lord’s Surprise Visits”
“Be ye therefore ready also.” Luke 12:40

“The great need of the Christian worker is to be ready to face Jesus Christ at any and every turn. This is not easy, no matter what our experience, is. The battle is not against sin or difficulties or circumstances, but against being so absorbed in work that we are not ready to face Jesus Christ at every turn. That is the one great need, not facing our belief, or our creed, or the question whether we are of any use, but to face Him.
Jesus rarely comes where we expect him; He appears where we least expect Him, and always in the most illogical connections. The only way a worker can keep true to God is by being ready for the Lord’s surprise visits. It is not service that matters, but intense spiritual reality, expecting Jesus Christ at every turn. This will give our life the attitude of child-wonder, which He wants it to have. If we are going to be ready for Jesus Christ, we have to stop being religious (that is, using religion as a higher kind of culture) and be spiritually real.

If you are looking off unto Jesus, avoiding the call of the religious age you live in, and setting your heart on what He wants, on thinking on His line, you will be called unpractical and dreamy; but when He appears in the burden and the heat of the day, you will be the only one who is ready. Trust no one, not even the finest saint who ever walked this earth, ignore him, if he hinders your sight of Jesus Christ.

quote by: Oswald Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest

This year I can honestly say I faced Jesus in many turns. I found Him in places I didn’t expect Him to be and I found myself seeking Him on levels I have never sought Him before. I found Him repeatedly. He stood with light in hand leading and guiding me step by step. I found Him and I am so grateful for the challenges, the ups and downs, the regular days, the ins and outs and the FUN!

He always amazes me in His nearness.

The God Who IS supplies my needs.
He sings over me in my nights of weakness.
He holds me in the moments of trial.
I see His hand in so many ways and on so many turns.
I return His love and am thankful for the beauty of the days.
I rejoice in His blessings and am captivated by His whisperings.
The God I love IS.

I love him beyond all else and I glory in the reality that He sees me and finds me His.

Your mutating, mutating, mutating missionary
and ebenezer
returned to this foreign land by His guidance and through His Grace.