Saturday, May 28, 2011

Entering into the unkowns through His doorway - Jesus

8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God, 9 who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity, 10 but now has been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, 11 for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle and a teacher. 12 For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day. 13 Retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me, in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. 14 Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you. 2 Timothy 2:8-14

There is an old hymn that I have been humming lately. You probably know it. The part that always gets me is a quote from the above text: "For I know whom I have believed and am
persuaded that He is able, to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day.

"I Know Whom I Have Believed"

1.I know not why God's wondrous grace
To me He hath made known
Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
Redeemed me for His own.

But I know whom I have believed
and am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I've committed
unto Him against that day

2. I know not how this saving faith
To me He did impart,
Nor how believing in His word
Wrought peace within my heart.

But "I know Whom I have believed
and am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I've committed
unto Him against that day

3. I know not how the Spirit moves,
Convincing men of sin,
Revealing Jesus through the Word,
Creating faith in Him.

But "I know Whom I have believed
and am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I've committed
unto Him against that day

4.I know not what of good or ill
May be reserved for me,
Of weary ways or golden days,
Before His face I see.

But I know Whom I have believed
and am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I've committed
unto Him against that day

5.I know not when my Lord may come,
At night or noon-day fair,
Nor if I'll walk the vale with Him,
Or meet Him in the air.

But "I know Whom I have believed
and am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I've committed
unto Him against that day
Lyrics: Daniel Whittle, 1883. Composer: James McGranahan.

A song that verbalizes my wonder of the God Who IS!!!!!!!

mutating missionary
and ebenezer

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

quiet love

I have been in the USA since January. The EU and the USA have an agreement. It includes making non-citizens prove their citizenship. It has to do with taxes and bunches of red-tape. It is frustrating. I am required to leave Germany for one-year. Most countries in the EU require you to leave for 6 months - Germany requires a non-citizen to leave for one-year.

I am missing my home, my red-prayer-chair, my favorite cups, my own bed. Would I do it again? Would I live in Germany for 5 more years and then return for one-year again? Would I consider going back again? There is no doubt.

I believe with all of my heart that God has me in Germany for a reason. He has me here in the USA for a season. The relationships that I have in Germany are important to me. The relationships I have in the USA are important to me. But no relationship is more important to me than my relationship with the God Most High. Being in the place where I believe He wants me to be is my desire in life. I cannot control this. I understand that He knows where He has me and I delight in all that is going on here while I wait patiently (as possible) to return to my little corner of the world.

I have asked God to keep me close. He has heard me and I relish in His intimacies.

This morning as I was reading "Jesus Calling" I was reminded how often I hold on to the problems of this world. How often I hold on to the problems of my family. I was encouraged to meet Him and invite Him into those problems. It was a good reminder. But what thrilled me most was the reference of Zephaniah 3:17:

"For the Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy." Zephaniah 3:17

Lying in wait, I desire to enter into His quiet love. What does that look like? What does that mean? What has He in store for me that I could never understand or expect?

My ultimate desire is to love Him with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind. And to love my neighbor as I love myself.

What does love look like? What does loving myself look like? How will that increase my love for my neighbors? I want to love my neighbors. I want to love them. I want to love the people in this world. I want to love them. Right where they are. Right where I am.

What does love look like - God? Your love, not mine? What does your love look like? What does quiet love look like? Cup my face in Your hands this day and look deep into me. Hold my heart in your hands and protect it as you break it and mold it into more than it is right now. Thank You for reminding me that You are a victorious warrior and I need not be afraid.

your mutating missionary
and ebenezer

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

My attempt at pictoral Theology...

I am thankful for this place that God has me. This place of trust that I have never before walked in. All that I thought of family relationships is being turned upside down. I am so grateful for my children in this time of endings.

I receive what comes from the fall, my Lord. I receive it with the understanding that You have not allowed the instigator of the fall to conquer. But instead You conquered the evil one and You will call me to Your land. You will bless those who stand firm for healing and love.

I am His daughter. A daughter of the King. He wants me to understand that. I know it on so many levels, but in this place - I never thought I would stand - yet, I am here and He is here.

I drew the above crayon drawing to attempt a visual of what I believe. It is childish in many ways. But then, in so many ways I am yet a child. And where God is concerned - I always will be.

I am glad that God is God.
this blog is a bit personal - but what was it developed for???? to be personal. A personal glimpse of the road that a real honest to goodness foreign missionary walks ... the ups, the downs, the struggles, the victories, the good the bad...

As I listen to an ipod filled with German music - I smile. What a blessed time to live in - a time where sharing God and His eternal gift of salvation is really my moment by moment goal. I've known a pastor who always says, "And they pay me to do this!!!"

What a joy to take the opportunity to do this with those here in the USA while I wait figuratively chained waiting for my moment to return to Germany. Glory, glory, glory to the God most High. He placed me in an earthly family, to learn how to live in this world, to love those that have deleted me. Through His grace it is possible.

because HE IS the I AM,
i am
your mutating missionary
and ebenezer
A Church Window in Slovenia