I'm back in the states on HMA. What does this mean? Well, I am here for 2 or 3 months. I am meeting with a church tomorrow that grew me and loved me and encouraged me in days when I could barely function. A church in whom I learned many beautiful and wonderful truths of Who God is and who I am as a child of God. A church that has had a complete overhaul in the four years I have been on the field. The senior pastor has changed and many of the faces have changed. But there are those that remain. Those that chose not to leave the body. Some are struggling, but most are healing and moving into wonderful places of redemption. I like the new church. It is different. It is not the same. It has morphed. But isn't that what life is all about anyway? I am proud to call this church a supporting church of mine. Proud of them all!!!!
'Doing church' isn't easy anywhere. I know that we in Germany are moving and growing and there are always growing pains. But the 'doing' sometimes gets in the way of the 'being'... and being is always more important than the doing. I know some would disagree with me. Some would say we must have proof of our faith - and I understand that. But I believe that if our hearts are really moving into the being with Christ, the trusting in Him, (through the pains and through the confusions, through the joys and the celebrations) we WILL do. It is a natural outpouring of the BEING! I have no way of knowing whether you are being or just doing as you have no idea as to whether I am just doing and not being... but GOD! God knows our hearts. I am here and am grateful that from my own walk God has told me, "Trust me."
So... I walk into this new environment and trust Him. I plan for trips to unknown places and trust Him. I stay at one son's home and in turn at the other son's home trusting that God knows what each one needs from me and where I am to be daily as I walk down this road of renewal and refreshment.
May those that I meet with be renewed and refreshed by my walk as I am renewed and refreshed by HIM!
your mutating missionary
ps... OK Brent - I blogged :) hugs to you!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
My Bible: In the far lower left corner you will see my ancient, worn, incredibly inked up, Bible. It is my favorite version, the New American Standard. I have had it so long I think it might be formed to my face...I have a tendency to fall asleep reading it often. It is loved and longed for on long trips (because it is large I tend to leave it at home and bring only my handpurse small copy). I am trying to decide if I will bring it with me to the states for the few months I must return. This is a big decision and I am really not sure what to do. Bringing Ebenezer means that I will not have much room for other things - decisions, decisions, decisions.
My pens: I have an assortment of pens. They range from different colors and sizes to rapid ink flow, smooth ink flow, non-smear, hi-liter, ornate, heavy, light, and even glow in the dark! They represent my mood. Some people, i.e. baseball players, get into the feel of the grass under their feet or the smell of the ball after it grunges around in the the dirt, etc. etc. I get into pens!
My cola lite: I love cola light or pepsi lite or all sorts of other diet drinks... I know they are supposed to be killing my brain cells - but I'm still drinking them
My German learned love - Milchkaffee! - I love these. I cannot tell you how much I love German coffee. I live 30 minutes from France and do not enjoy the coffee there. I live 30 minutes from Switzerland and the coffee there is similar, but still not as good as this German Milch Kaffee! I am absolutely addicted to it. It is one part warm whipped milk (just plain milk) and one part German coffee. I love it.
Sharing a few of my favorite things means that I am sharing myself. God does that everyday with me as I see His hand in those people growing and loving Him more and more. When I walk into a coffee shop that one of my friends works at and find her reading her bible and writing her thoughts to Him in a journal. I find Him when I hear other girls I am mentoring sharing about what God is doing in their lives. I find Him in the music I play with my heart/harp friend as she prepares for Sunday morning worship. I find that He shares Himself with me over and over and over again. And I am thankful for His care. I am thankful for His personal touch. I am thankful for knowing that I am called to this place and He honors me with His presence daily.\
Friday, January 8, 2010
? This is not a very popular discussion, but I turned to this a few days ago and have been pondering it since then. I shared it with my German Women's Bible Study group. -- we had to work through some of the words - but they got it. What do you think of this? It is not a very popular view point these days with all of us seeking to find what fits us best, etc. But, there are truths here that I am mulling over.
February 5th: My Utmost for His Highest: Are you Ready to be Offered?...
"Are you willing to be offered for the work of the faithful - to pour out your life blood as a libation on the sacrifice of the faith of others? Or do you say - "I am not going to be offered up just yet, I do not want God to choose my work. I want to choose the scenery of my own sacrifice; I want to have the right kind of people watching and saying, 'Well done.' "
It is one thing to go on the lonely way with dignified heroism, but quite another thing if the line mapped out for you by God means being a door-mat under other people's feet. Suppose God wants to teach you to say, "I know how to be abased" - are you ready to be offered up like that? Are you ready to be not so much as a drop in the bucket - to be so hopelessly insignificant that you are never thought of again in connection with the life you served? Are you willing to spend and be spent; not seeking to be ministered unto, but to minister? Some saints cannot do menial work and remain saints because it is beneath their dignity.
February 6th Are you Ready to be Offered? (My Utmost for His Highest - continued)
"I am already being poured out as a drink offering." 2 Tim 4:6
"I am ready to be offered." It is a transaction of will, not of sentiment. TELL God you are ready to be offered; then let the consequences be what they may, there is no strand of complaint now, no matter what God chooses. God puts you through the crisis in private, no one person can help another. Externally the life may be the same; the difference is in will. Go through the crisis in will, then when it comes externally there will be no thought of the cost. If you do not transact in the will with God along this line, you will end in awakening sympathy for yourself.
"Bind the sacrifice with cords, even unto the horns of the altar." The altar means fire - burning and purification and insulation for one purpose only, the destruction of every affinity that God has not started and of every attachment that is not an attachment in God. You do not destroy it, God does; you bind the sacrifice to the horns of the altar; and see that you do not give way to self-pity when the fire begins. After this way of fire, there is nothing that oppresses or depresses. When the crisis arises, you realize that things cannot touch you as they used to do. What is your way of fire?
Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himslef to be all you ever dreamed He would be."
Thursday, January 7, 2010
2 Tmothy 4:13
"When you come bring the cloak which I left at Troas with Carpus, and the books, especially the parchments."
These two verses are two of my favorite in this entire book (2 Timothy). I know there are others that are inspiring, zB. "I have fought the good fight...". I know that there are many that are powerfully available for encouragement. I have used them all of my Christian life - to gain strength, to be grounded, to hear Him speaking, "don't give up"
But in these two verses in the last chapter of his last written letter Paul sits in his vulnerability and humanity - his day in day out life: Does God meet us there?
I believe that Paul found Him there. Because of this Paul could find Him in the grand verses we memorize.
your mutating missionary
being met in the day in day out life by the lover of my soul