Thursday, October 29, 2009

Don't Let Me Go

My bedroom holds many memories of family and friends. My red-prayer-chair sits in my bed room, as does this card my mom gave me for my birthday one year. Every year around my birthday I remember the day she gave it to me. It was in the year 2000. I had met a man on a plane in October after coming home from a mission trip to Holland over the summer. This man would change my life. He took me down a road of expectation. I hadn't been down that road for many years. He was and is a famous jazz musician.

But this one card holds memories of that experience because my mom was having to deal with the possiblity that I might, just might begin a relationship with a man that she 'culturally' might have problems accepting, and yet knowing that as the wonderful believer she is ... well, she would just have to! If we loved each other.

The card is in black and white and says, "What a delightful difference one single life makes!" The card had/has many levels of meaning. The possiblity of the married kind of love for me was real. It might have happened - but 9-11 sent us on different paths. His pain in New York was great - my pain in Flower Mound was given to God.

and He carries this one single life - continually!

<a href="">Don't Let Me Go by Emily Riddle</a>

mutating missionary
& ebenezer
PS my favorite line in the above song: Teach me to pray, Teach me to love to obey, Teach me to pray.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

herbst - not the kind the orthodontist uses...

I love autumn, fall, herbst!
I find it tantalizing. Such a hint of playfulness. The leaves dance in the wind and then fall to create a blanket on the floor of mother earth, they turn different colors overnight. The wind whips around corners and haunts my bedroom. The sun chooses which hours to shine and which hours to hide away behind the clouds.
I love autumn, fall, herbst!

and it is a season when all of my creative juices bubble!

mutating missionary
& ebenezer

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Does He NEED you/me to do it? Does He NEED you/me to do anything?

Who grows a church?
I'm involved with a group of wonderful people on the other side of my past world and we desire to build a church.

This is our desire.
You might ask why? Isn't Germany the home of Luther? of the great theological minds? of huge churches and wide and deep histories?
Yes. It is.
But... people here are considered out dated if they actually believe what the bible says about God.
So... do you think that Satan would really be without concern for a church that has a really good biblical teacher, praise music that most hear only in concert halls, a few people (30-50) attending regularly and living life out with each other, hungry new believers, and hearts that are completely God's. Do you think that maybe he would hummmmm like.... not really want this to happen?

I've been wondering how he might try to clip our wings. But... this I know!

Nothing happens in the life of a believer that is not sifted through the loving hands of a loving and compassionate God. The spiritual attacks, the physical attacks, the poor choices, the unwise decision... somehow... somehow... God will triumph.

Why? Because He said He would. Because it is not about us. He will not allow His name to continue to be sullied. He will not... He will not...
And so when I don't understand something, when I am confused in this place, when I watch my loved ones hurt and hurt for them, when I discern choices for positive or negative in this body of believers, where do I run? When I have others come to me and ask why someone is doing something... and grow tired of saying, talk to that person...
Where do I run? Where do I run?
Into the arms of a sovereign God. He who allows us to suffer the consequences of our own actions, but will not allow Satan to destroy us.
I wonder... does He ever get tired of my having to remind myself of these facts?
He grows His church.
I really need Him to hold me during the growing pains though. I really need Him to hold me.

Because I know that the consequences don't last for just a week... they last a life time.