Thursday, July 24, 2008

God is always present.

"The presence of God is the concentration of the soul's attention on God, remembering that He is always present." Brother Lawrence the Practice of the Presence of God

Practicing the presence of God.

My daughter has been to my home here in the Schwarzwald two times. Both times she was fascinated with the SMART car. It probably has something to do with the fact that my daughter is almost 6 feet tall and well ... the SMART car isn't - giggle!
Lately I have been missing my daughter a great deal. Not to say I don't miss her brothers, but I haven't seen her since May of last year and the guys I have...
I had her on my mind 2 days ago, you know that kinda' on your mind that you just can't get them off your mind. And I got a text message that night with a request from her to call.
She is not in hospital or anything like that. She is still dealing with some recurring issues and has been for the last year or so. It is serious and yet the doctors don't know exactly what it is or how to correct it. She has been working hard in her schooling, continuing to be vigilant in her endeavors. And yet, these interruptions must be horribly frustrating to put it mildly.
So, when I had her on my mind and then she called I thought about the reality that God has us on his mind all the time. I don't know how He does that - but he says that his thoughts on us are more than the sand on the shore...

Right now - I marvel at the peace that passes all understanding. I believe I have this peace even though I wish I could be with my daughter. I have it because He is present all the time. And He is thinking about her even more than I.
I deeply desire to practice the presence of God.
mutating missionary.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

france anyone?

Come join me for a few of my favorite sites at de Louvre.
Grab a quick milchcoffee and perhaps a small bananan eis.

The colors, lighting, and theme of this particular piece have always intrigued me - in my art books... notice the way Ingres captures the fold of material and the shadows in the legs and feet.

I also like that he paints his name into the corner of the cushion.

Even though most people find the torso in n udes amazing - I seem to be drawn to eyes, feet, hands and necks???? But, the hands holding the feather fan, the bracelet, and the hem of the curtain being tugged on by the woman. The feet... So cool.

Then we change to this tiny Vermeer painting.

The hand to the right of this picture is a tiny Japanese woman's.
Vermeer's work has always amazed me. But I must admit,
to stand in front of this tiny piece and see the strokes, the lighting,
intricate details was breathtaking. I only dreamed of being able
to see it when I was an Art History minor in Uni.
This room filled with gigantic paintings.

I'm one of those people that most are annoyed by.
When asked what I would like to see more than anything else in Europe:
The Louvre, The Louvre, The Louvre. And I meant it...
I was there when it opened and was almost the last person out when it closed.
My feet hurt and I was so content.
I could have stayed for 4 more days.

Alas, it was meant that I only have a days worth.

And God knows I couldn't have handled much more beauty.

Yep, I'm the one that actually stops upon seeing a carving, or a painting, or even a sketch and being so overwhelmed that it is within one foot of my nose I cry. - Not the ugly cry, but little tears cannot help but escape the corners of my eyes.
Sorry - just that beauty impacts me.
And to think that God has given so many for so many years -


Because He IS the I AM, i am
your mutating missionary

Friday, July 18, 2008

His lovingkindness is better than gold

Top 10 thanks:
1. God’s word that stabilizes me.
2. God’s family that encourages me.
3. God’s provision that allows me to rest in Him
4. God’s lovingkindness that allows me to sleep alone
5. God’s forgiveness of sins – His ability to set them as far as the east is from the west
6. God’s power that reminds me that He can do all things –
even the impossible for nothing is too difficult for Him.
7. God’s faithfulness, He will never leave me nor forsake me.
8. God’s kindness that shines through both men and women in my life
9. God’s wisdom that protects me from myself
10. God’s love that is too vast to explain – all words fall short.
Psalms 86: 11-13
“Teach me Thy way, O LORD; I will walk in Thy truth; unite my heart to fear Thy name. I will give thanks to Thee, o Lord my God, with all my heart, and will glorify Thy name forever. For Thy lovingkindness toward me is great, and Thou hast delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.”

Thursday, July 17, 2008

confidence in Him

"The only requirement is that we place our confidence entirely in God. Abandon any other concerns, including any special devotions you've undertaken simply as a means to an end. God is our 'end.'" Brother Lawrence

I wonder what that would look like. To place my confidence entirely in God. I wonder if getting news that my debit card number had been stolen and a person in Fayetteville, NC had completely wiped out my bank account, right after my paycheck had been deposited, leaving me -$500 in the bank... spending the money that I need to live on for Victoria's Secret, Express, Wal-mart, etc. within 2 days - an entire paycheck... I wonder as evidence of my confidence being entirely in God if I would stop and be calm in Him? Yep, I did that.

I wonder if I would pray for that person that had stolen this money and actually feel a bit sorry for her because she had wronged me - because well you see, God is a righteous God. Praying that this step of theft would allow this person in some way to come to Him. Yep, I wonder would that be evidence that I place my entire confidence in the God of all Universes? Yep, I did that.

I wonder...

But - now I must admit - I am slipping. I am asking for prayer. Because even though all of the money has been returned to the bank account, all of the problems would be solved if I lived at 5309 Crawford Ct. If I lived in my old world.

Alas, my abode is in the crevices of a tiny mountain in the Schwarzwald. I have not received the new debit card with which I draw my paycheck. They don't know how long it will take to get here. My rent is due, my telephone payment, my -- well my bills. And I am a foriegner in a foreign land. They don't like it when foriegners don't have enough money in their account to pay their bills. Had I known that it would take so long, I would have requested them to wire it, but now wiring it might take longer than recieving the card in the Post. And yet, I don't know - it is floating around somewhere. It has been over 10 days and the mechanic, the bank teller, the landlord are all getting a bit fidgety... as am I. Oh Lord, help me place my confidence completely in YOU.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


As many of you know A.W. Tozer is one of my favorites.

"Jesus calls us to His rest, and meekness is His method. The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided the esteem of the world is not worth the effort. AW Tozer

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

"Sabbath rest is obedient rest it arises from the good and perfect law of God. Surrendered rest arises from the good and perfect grace of God. Sabbath rest is remembrance, surrendered rest is meekness."